Wedding Wednesday: Finding THE Dress

For some reason this post didn't post as scheduled. Just pretend it is Wednesday!

Everyone knows that a HUGE portion of your wedding is the bride’s choice of attire.  It sets the mood/vibe for the event.  Finding the right dress can be easy as pie or like pulling teeth, depending on various factors.  Regardless, it is usually one of the first moments the bride-to-be really feels like everything is real.  Some get emotional, others just have fun, and if you are me, your mom cried at nearly every dress you try on (if you decide to have your mom with you at all).

In today’s Wedding Wednesday, I’m going to cover my experience finding a dress and share some tips I learned during the process.

For many women, their wedding dress is something that they have dreamt about for as long as they can remember.  I too had thought about my wedding dress when I was in grade school, ages 6-8 to be exact.  If you had asked me then, it would have been a big poofy Cinderella style gown with poofy sleeves.  I would have accompanied with clear plastic heels to look like glass slippers, elbow-length gloves, and a tiara.  It was the early 90’s, we were still recovering from 80’s fashion…don’t blame me :).  By the age of 9 though, I really lost interest in dreaming about my wedding dress and didn't really think about it again until I got engaged.  Going into dress shopping, I was starting from scratch.  To top it all off, my mom and I decided to go shopping on a whim President’s Day 2011 (2 months from my engagement and about a year and a half away from my actual wedding).  I had the day off from work and we figured since it was a Monday that the shop wouldn't be busy.  I called the day of to make sure we could make an appointment and they luckily had a spot open.

Tip #1: Make an appointment, even if you are going to a national chain like David’s Bridal.  This will save you a ton of time once you actually get to the shop.

Since we had gone on a whim, I hadn't really looked at any bridal magazines for ideas, but had seen one Sottero & Midgley dress that I loved in an ad (Adorae was the style name).  I had also intended to only browse, not purchase, since I literally had no idea what would look good on my body.

Tip #2 Some will tell you that you should look at bridal magazines and narrow down styles and dresses you want to try on before going to the shop.  I would recommend the exact opposite, don’t lock yourself into one style (it may not fit your body), and go in with an open mind.

Remember how I said I loved that Sottero & Midgely gown?  Well, I told my bridal consultant and she pulled at least 3 dresses that were similar.  They looked HORRENDOUS on me!  To make matters worse, I’m 5’ 4”, and the dresses were made for someone MUCH taller than I.  In talking to the consultant she said it would have been very difficult to alter the dress to my height since the dress was more mermaid shaped and was almost a straight satin (no seams) down to the bottom where it flared out.  There wasn't a good place on the dress to take up the height without losing the trumpeted bottom.  Even in 4” heels, I still wouldn't have been able to fit into the dress properly.  If I had been set on that style of dress, I would have been heartbroken, but I went in with an open mind and told the consultant that our wedding was going to be outdoors in July in a garden and asked her to pick some selections she thought would fit the theme and my body type.   I ended up buying a beaded lace gown that I would have never picked off the rack.  It was beautiful!  I actually liked it the first time I tried it on but came back to it later in the appointment and decided it looked the nicest on me and that it was the dress.

Tip #3 Take or wear shoes that are the approximate height you think you will wear for your wedding

As previously stated, I’m 5’4”, I can walk in heels but since we were getting married in a garden, I didn’t want to have to wear heels higher than 3.5”.  I brought some shoes with me to the appointment that were about that height.  It really helped visualize how the dress would actually fit, and it helped the consultant rule out dresses (like Adorae) that couldn't be properly altered even with the 3.5” heels.

Tip #4 Take a strapless bra, or find out if the salon provides long-line bras for trying on dresses. Oh, and wear full coverage underpants :)

I don’t usually make it a habit to fully undress in front of strangers, some may say I’m not comfortable enough with my body, but whatever, I’m just not comfortable with it.  If you are like me, wear/take a strapless bra to your appointment.  You will be getting in and out of dresses a lot, this will allow for prevention of awkward situations.  Additionally, if you plan to wear a bra the day of, it will give you a better understanding of how the dress will fit.  My salon provided a long-line bra for the day so that it had a lower back if you happened to try on dresses with equally low backs.

Full coverage underpants.  #1 your consultant will appreciate that they don’t have to look at your butt all the time.  #2, some salons have changing areas instead of individual rooms.  You could be in a room with several other brides who would also appreciate not having to look at your butt all the time.  #3, you are getting in and out of expensive gowns, that are hot (lots of extra fabric), when people get hot they sweat, having full coverage on your bottom will allow you to slide in and out of the dresses.  I tried on 32 dresses during my appointment and was sweating by the time we were done.  My mom had to fan me off.  My salon provided a slip to help address #3 (that is another option if you don’t like/own full coverage undergarments).

Tip #5 Don’t get frustrated         

It is easy to get frustrated if you aren't finding the perfect dress.  Like I said, I tried on 32 in one appointment.  Don’t get frustrated.  Some people find the dress after trying on 2, others find it after trying on 50 or more.  You will find something that fits your style, I promise.  But, that leads me into my next tip…

Tip #6 Don’t try on too many dresses

This seems to contradict my previous tip, but I assure you it does not.  50-75 dresses is a lot, once you have tried on that many, they may all begin to run together, you will forget , you will nitpick, and you will become very critical of the dresses you are trying on.  Once you find a dress you like, that looks good on you, that fits your budget and your theme, commit to the dress.  It is ok to try on 2-5 more dresses to make sure it is the one, but more than that is crazy.  It is also ok to not be overwhelmed by emotion when you choose a dress.  I certainly was not. 

I told you previously that my mom cried for at least the first 5 dresses I tried on.  I, on the other hand, did not shed a tear or become overwhelmed with emotion.  I’m pretty analytic and pragmatic about my decisions, and this was no different.  I really liked my dress and was excited to have selected a dress, but it was not a life-changing experience for me.

(Photos courtesy of one of my lovely bridesmaids)

Hopefully you will end up loving your dress-searching experience.  I will leave you with some final tips to help you through the process.

Final Tips

1.    Try to go during a trunk show at your local salon.  I happened to go on the last day of a trunk show at my salon and I bought my dress from the trunk show.  During the trunk show they bring in gowns that they normally would not carry, you might get lucky and find something you love!
2.  Go in with a budget in mind for your dress, veil, shoes, jewelry, and accessories (can be a total cost estimate of all).  Be sure to stick within that budget for your dress.  The salon will likely try to sell you a veil, jewelry and accessories too.  If you buy them from the salon, make sure the total cost of all items fits into your budget.
3. Remember you will need alterations.  Most brides do not fit a standard bridal size perfectly.  You will need alterations.  These can get pricey depending on fabric type, dress construction, if it needs bustling, and how much needs to be done to the dress.  In my area, alterations are often $300-400.  I ended up purchasing a dress that was $300 over my initial budget, but because I hit a certain price mark with the purchase, the salon did the alterations for free.  Essentially it was a wash for me to purchase the less expensive dress vs. the more expensive dress once you added in alterations.
4.  Don’t bring a ton of people with you to your appointment.  You will never make everyone happy, and you are the one who has to love it.  I brought my mom because it was a special moment we could share, but also because I deeply trust her opinion on clothes that look good on me.  I know she will tell me when something doesn't fit right, but I also know she will tell me when something looks amazing.
5. Try shopping online for shoes, veil, jewelry and accessories.  I found a $200 veil in the salon that I loved and went perfectly with the dress, but couldn't convince myself to spend that much since I had gone slightly over my initial budget for the dress.  The easiest place to cut extra costs was with these items.  I found a nearly identical veil online at Etsy.com for far cheaper. 
6. If you do fall in love with accessories at the salon, find out if they offer a discount since you purchased your dress with them.  My salon offered 15% off on veils and jewelry as well as another 30% off bridesmaids dresses if you purchased through them.
7.  Once you find your dress and complete your fittings, be sure to bring someone who will be available to help you the day of your wedding to your final fitting.  I brought one of my bridesmaids and my mom.  The seamstress showed them how to fasten me into the gown AND how to do the bustles (She ended up doing 3 bustles on my dress because I had so many layers).  This was VERY helpful the day of the wedding and they were able to get the bustles figured out in no time!
8.  Have fun!  You will hopefully only get to do this once in your life!

-Danielle